Hugs. I mean humongous, humble hugs that surround and soothe your sensitive soul. I speak about the kind of hug that makes us feel worthy and welcome. A gesture that sparks and strengthens the warrior within us, inspiring our will to overcome our abuse while reaching out to others still stuck in its stinging stronghold.

Sometimes our pain paints a cloud over our real needs. It gobbles up our personhood and becomes a brutal beast that swallows us whole. We become the sustenance for the pain that makes us its prey. Oh, really?

Please consider this post a kind kick in the rear! I'd be willing to bet that we would all answer "YES" to being asked if we were treated horribly, our needs were ignored, and we have trouble learning to love ourselves. I dare to ask you this: do you get in your own way?

Look around. See all those people who drag through their dreary days with a sad, "my life is unfair" demeanor? We could easily still be them. But then again, in doing that, we would completely miss the opportunity to celebrate our survival by helping them to do the same!

We've all been through it; we are hurt and we get back up, only to face our abuser, who is armed with an arsenal of ammunition to beat us down once again. Understand this- THE ONLY WAY OUR ABUSERS CAN SATIATE THEIR SICK NEEDS IS TO STEAL OUR PERSONHOOD! Many of us still feel reluctant to stand up for ourselves; after all, it was ripped away from us, just like the scabs they tore away, time after time, with each new blow to our very being.

One day we will finally begin to embrace that we can WALK AWAY! Standing back up is a strong stance, yet walking away is a winning proposition! We are still here! We matter! We have been given the greatest gift of all---we can undo what was done to us by helping others see the world that awaits them. A world where we can tear the twine that twisted and tormented our souls, and freely learn to love who we really are. We are the brilliant wreckage that WILL heal- and shine brightly!

Remember this; we are NOT our pain! We must shed the loose-fitting garment-of-shame we wore dawn to dusk, year after year. It was our uniform, our declaration. Really, it was never sutured to our souls. It never fit-and never will. We need to shred this shroud, along with everything else that defined us as "abusable!"

How do we do this? We find where we are and GET OUT OF OUR OWN WAY! Yes, it's scary, we feel naked, we wonder if we will really ever be okay. I am proof that once we get out of our own way, and put the pain in a place where it can no longer harm us, we will blossom like the most amazing flower!

I am the proof. I offer you all I have and all I am. In my soon-to-be-released memoir, Room in the Heart; Surviving a Childhood Undone, Fulfilling a Pact to Love, you will see how, after coming close to suicide numerous times, I made a pact with God, that He honored...five times! Trust me. It's worth the pain and the journey through dark, dense pain into the light! Just reach out. There are amazing mental health professionals to guide us. Without them, I'd NOT be here to give YOU hope!

I salute you, my friends. You have made the move, through visiting this blog, to feel the happiness you deserve. There's nothing to stop you! Make a move, make the call, make a promise to yourself to pursue what will free you...justbe sure to first get out of your own way first!