So much to do. So little time! I see where time has gone but what I need to know is how do I find more of it?

To me, the world is like an ant colony. Busy beings are buzzing about, walking into, over and around one another, meeting impending goals, challenges, and deadlines. But where has the humanness gone? How do we maintain and protect the feeling, understanding, empathetic side of our interactions and our lives?

Even if our chocolate bar melts in the sweltering summer heat, our child has a tantrum because their balloon left their hands and quickly became a shrinking red dot that disappeared behind the clouds, and the dog chewed the soles off our favorite shoes, the sun will still set and then rise come tomorrow morning.

Even if we are stressed, pressured and overwhelmed, we can’t expect others to step up to our needs and put their lives aside for us. The world simply doesn’t work that way.

Even if our child misses the bus, we fail to make an appointment and the rest of our day crumbles like day-old pastry, it has no bearing on everyone else’s life. Taking out our frustration or anger on others won’t end well. It threatens to ruin their day, too.

But here comes an even bigger “Even if.” You ready?

Even if we’ve been mistreated, our souls are scarred and shredded, and we lack the understanding and coping mechanisms to work through our past, it is never and will never be okay to perpetuate this heinous behavior upon others. There are NO “Even if’s” here. Repeating the cycle of abuse is unforgivable. It is the ultimate wrong.

Even if those who humiliated, invalidated, and tortured us bear no responsibility and offer no apology, the onus is on us to do whatever we can to spare others from becoming our victims. We might get lost in our own pain and lack the insight to process our anger appropriately, but no one deserves to pay the price for our brokenness.

Even if we had a childhood that wasn’t what it could have and should have been, we need to recognize that we shoulder the fate of our next generation. If we take the necessary steps to delve through our problematic, dysfunctional past, we can offer our children kindness, respect, and belonging so they will surely become productive, respectful people. Alternatively, if we repeat our painful past onto them, we steal their future. We might even take their children’s future, too.

Even if we cannot understand the actions, opinions, and choices others embrace, we must remember they have their own circumstances we know nothing about. We don’t awaken in their home, put on their shoes in the morning, and go to their job. For all we know they might have no home, shoes, or job.

Even if we try to be our best selves, we are still human. We experience the highs and lows, the sweet and bittersweet. But despite the “Even if’s,” the tide will always ride in and recede, storms will come and go and eventually the darkness yields to light.

And we must keep some of that light within us. Even in the darkest days, we can be the lighthouse for others to find their way home. When we cannot see past our challenges of today, our light can shine into tomorrow.

When you fear that others will not be as forgiving as you are towards them, move forward. Your light will guide your way and warm your heart. And even if that light dims and your heart feels empty, there will always be an “even if.”