We are all different. We come from different walks of life, we walk different paths. We compare our situations to others' by asking them if they've ever walked in our shoes. But what do we wear?

Although some of us love vibrant hues, others prefer neutrals. While many tout high fashion, comfort often takes precedence. We have choices~ how sweet! But how about our circumstances? Do we wear contentment of heart on our faces, or do we show the scars that scorched our souls?

As children we are taught to be presentable, because the first impression is the one that ultimately matters. That's nice to know. Store window displays- the first thing you see before opening the door- are lovely to look at, too. Then, when we go inside and try on the clothing, we've now walked through disappointment's door. After all, the same dress on the mannequins looks different once it's on our bodies. It's likely a first-impression-failure.

We can make a glamorous impression with make up, fashion, cars and other material items, but how long does this impression last? I mean, how long can we "walk the walk" in our 6" Louboutin heels? When does the makeup come off, when do we park the Porsche in the garage, and when do we look in the mirror to see ourselves in our real skin? Do we turn out the bathroom lights so we don't have to really SEE ourselves?

Please don't misunderstand me. Cosmetics, clothing and cars can be fun. It should be noted that they serve different purposes for different folks; and for some they serve no purpose at all. It's all good. Naturalists who live in nudist communities probably have the least interest in materialistic posessions. For those of us who don't fit into the latter category, let's talk. We have much to muse here...

Most of us felt the huge loss when Robin Williams took his own life. Many of us have lost loved ones to suicide. How many of those we've lost to suicide sported shirts that said, "Dressed to impress, but deeply depressed," or carried handbags that said "my bag is full, but my soul is empty?" I'd be willing to bet none. Not even one. Sadly, we have so many options to disguise our sadnessIn a society where posessions are prized, we leave our feelings in the closet while we take our designer duds out. If we look good, our lives look good. That's really good--- only if it really is the case! Often, it is only a case- a case with a designer name branded on it, and generic contents inside. You know, like a perfectly nice sweater that has an opening for our head, and a sleeve for each arm. It keeps us warm, but doesn't really come from France.

We live in a society equipped with surgeons who remove wrinkles from worry, photographers who photoshop flattering figures, and banks that will front the funds to buy it all (and take it back when we can't pay THEM back...)

Let's be honest. Most of my blog readers have been abused, or have known others who have endured abuse. It doesn't matter whether it scarred their souls or their skin: suffering can only be disguised for so long. Maslow got it so right with his hierarchy; you cannot skirt your pain, by hopping over it to advance to the top of the happiness ladder. You can close your eyes and pretend that if you don't step on "that nasty rung," no one else will ever know about your pain. It doesn't work that way. Even if you think you can supersede the rules, it is still there. All that pain continues to bubble away deep within you, like a simmering stew. Inasmuch as everyone who enters your house can smell the stew, everyone around us senses our anger. What I am trying to say is this: find a way to face it, fix it, and feel whole again.

So let's get back to the closet. What about the size/sizes of the clothing? Does size even matter if the clothes are flattering? One more thing concerning size; is there a measurement for our pain? If we can flaunt the fanciest fur we can find, will it camouflage the carnage we conceal beneath the coat? Can we make our pain and suffering appear small enough that it might actually fall down between life's floorboards and befriend the dust bunnies down below?

My fellow survivors, let's celebrate the new year with two things; a mirror to help us face our pain, and an understanding that the bargain basement has been closed down. Gone for good. No more bargaining for what we really don't need! No more trying to disguise our bodies or our pain, or much worse, hiding behind a label. You see, our mannequin-madness is over; we no longer need to look perfect on the outside while empty on the inside. We've been through enough; don't you think we deserve the comfort of healing and happiness?

There will never be a better time to accept our past, delve through the pain, and bear witness to the beautiful souls we really are- and have always been. We survived for a reason! We are still here, but our pain does not have to be. I promise there is such contentment in working through that which already hurt us initially, then proceeded to became a renter we invited in, to live in our heads and hearts rent-free. Evict that pain! You are the landlord of your heart. Out with the antiquated abusive contract, in with the rules of survivorship.

In case you haven't hung the full-length mirror on your closet door, now is the time! Look at yourself as a whole being, and love the child who lacked a carefree childhood, and now nurture the adult who deserves to laugh and dance with delight. Cut out the tags that tell the size of your clothing. And while you're at it, let a few items fall from the hangers onto the floor. Make your own rules and let go of perfection. Our former lives might have been a mess, but now the only mess will be on the closet floor!

Me? I often clear out my closet because purging is purifying. Like former feelings of sadness and unworthiness, get rid of the clothes you don't need anymore. Make room in the closet of your heart for new things that define the "healthy, whole, healed you." There is no one else better for you to be.

This blog entry is for you, my friends. Here's to celebrating a new closet and a new year! No fancy attire necessary. Wear comfortable shoes. All souls/soles welcome!