“Your children are not your children.They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you yet they belong not to you...”-Kahlil Gibran — “Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
and though they are with you yet they belong not to you...”
-Kahlil Gibran

Babies are born everyday. So beautiful and unique. A source of joy and a reminder of both the newness and fragility life holds. A giver of dreams and a taker of time and patience. But sometimes the balance is off and things go awry. Frailty follows and this blessing becomes a curse.

Babies aren’t born with the obligation to solve their parents’ problems. They themselves are not equipped to take the moral high-ground when their parents cannot cope. Their innocence is torn away like the arms of a rag doll caught in a “Monkey in the Middle” game. No one wins, but the parents have found a way to release their anger and frustration. The child ultimately loses, because they aren’t born with a toolbox filled with coping mechanisms.

No child is born with a bipolar or eating disorder, depression or anxiety. These are forms of mental illness that develop in response to trauma, abuse or other scenarios that affect development. Sadly, many do not know this and blame these issues often seen in children, adolescents and adults as having been congenital- rather than look at the events in the lives of those who suffer from them. Essentially it becomes a “blame the victim” scenario. Not okay. EVER!

When parents unleash their anger and grief on their children, the die is cast. Day by day the blame is on the victim...an innocent child, whose parents fail them by unwillingness to break their own cycle of abuse. The healthy remnants before the “what was” are scraped away and float a downstream like the bark of a tree after a hurricane. Like a house without a roof or walls, children are so vulnerable and porous that they are unable to protect themselves. They are at the mercy of parents who didn’t have the wherewithal to break the cycle of abuse. Their souls are broken.

And so they pay the hefty price.

Chances are that if you are reading this you or someone you know suffers the predicament as is referred to here. I wrote Room in the Heart and these blog posts to remind others that there is both hope and recovery in surviving abuse. As one who survived suicide attempts and endured years of abuse perpetuated by my parents, I utilize the means of this forum, my book and Facebook pages to offer hope and encouragement that victims DO become SURVIVORS!

I celebrate your journey to not becoming your past, but overcoming it.
I celebrate YOU...