This is the story of mother and daughter Dalila and Mae, told with Dalila's blessings.

There was something about these captivating words that fascinated me. Their sentiment summoned my attention, kidnapped my entire being and held it captive. The ransom involved releasing this intriguing, heartfelt tale from my blog-burdened brain while paying homage to these two women wandering a perilous, unmapped journey. My rapt curiosity craved knowing more about "Mae's world" through the heavy heart of her daughter, Dalila.

Mae and I have not met. In fact, although her daughter Dalila and I are casual Facebook friends, we haven't met either. When I chanced upon her bittersweet albeit sobering post last night, it was akin to stumbling upon a note-bearing bottle surrendered to the sandy shore by an encumbered, tired tide. It became a haunting melody that sang to my soul, pleading to be played and replayed until fully written.

Seeking more information, I messaged Dalila asking her to detail this voyage she captains. My instincts screamed, begging me to realize the gravity inherent in this mother-daughter experience. So many stood to benefit from sharing Dalila's story. The more information I gleaned, the more riveted I became, the more compelled I was to find some sweetness in the midst of this tragic loss of personhood. Did I mention I am unrelentingly tenacious?

Their tale is rooted in a kind of love story. A beautiful relationship between a mother and daughter that was resilient and inspirational. To them, their bond was commonplace and ordinary, yet both realized how fortunate they were- and, in a sense, still are. Only now, while the love is still there, the rules have unfortunately changed. But life isn't always fair. Often plans lose altitude mid-flight, and there is no alternate route. My intuition whispered this flight was a slow, steady decline- for the passenger. Out of nowhere, a furious fog settles in. All that was no longer is. Once-familiar faces fade. A mean-spirited game of Hide and Seek gone awry changes the rules; family members have turned strangers and loved ones long gone are now simply out of sight but will soon return.

I must interject my own personal, pertinent information here; my role as a mother, wife, and especially, a sexual assault nurse, have proven the extreme importance of meeting people where they are. Every map provides a north, south, east, and west to allow positional perspective. When we don't know where we are, what is the starting point? Even if we find our north star, life happens and circumstances change on a dime. Then what? Sometimes deep devotion, fond memories, and uncompromising compassion provide the impetus to brave our sails against a seemingly never-ending headwind. Faced with this dilemma some feel they have no choice, feeling encumbered and resentful. For Dalila, the choice was a gift and a privilege.

So, who WAS Mae? Evidently, Mae fit the description of the Proverbs 31 woman. At the age of 43 she, her husband and Dalila emigrated from Portugal to America. Mae learned English in night school while working full time as a seamstress, eventually sewing Dalila's beautiful wedding gown. She went on to own a cake decorating business, knit, crocheted, and was known to all for her delicious cooking. This wonderful mother and wife loved life, enjoyed telling jokes and was the life of the party. In Dalila's words, "She was very intelligent and talented, she could do anything she put her mind to."

Moving forward to now, who IS Mae? Mae is a widow still living in the past. Clinging to the belief her husband is still alive yet no longer cares for her, his failure to spend time with her is burdensome. Ironically she and Dalila's father had a beautiful marriage and did everything together. Mae thinks her parents, who died over 40 years ago, are still living. She vacillates between different time periods from her past, and there is no telling how this scenario will play out as each day unfolds. Dalila has found the strength to persevere through these daily challenges utilizing the sense of humor her mother always embraced. Although Mae's laughter and joke telling subsided for several years, Dalila celebrates its recent return. It brings Dalila comfort that "Within the past year or so Mae shows more frequent moments of her old self showing through." Fearing her mother's laughter might soon cease, then never return, Dalila now finds overwhelming joy in seeing her mother laugh once again. This recent return of lightheartedness offers a respite when, feeling melancholy, Mae fails to recognize Dalila, and asks where her mother is. Dalila's sweet response appeases and comforts her; "I smile and tell her she went shopping."

Still, many desperately shop for a cure for this initially insidious turned unmistakable undoing of a loved one's memory. Studies strongly suggest the option of dementia facilities; they offer immensely helpful resources, and emotional/physical support not necessarily found at the patient's own residence. That said, how do caring relatives voice their grief at this ongoing, escalating loss? How do adult children accept and adapt to being relegated to the horrifying role of parent/child reversal? How do we maintain patience and understanding when we are overwhelmed with anguish and mourning?

In the midst of so many questions, I searched my soul for a silver lining. My question was soon answered . Although dementia robs its victims' memories, there is one redemption; the last lesson. Although now innocent, and vulnerable like children, senile parents continue with one last effort of their former role; they are teaching us to honor all they were- because this legacy carries on within us. These silent lessons bear precious promise when they will live on and pass their torch of love to future generations.

Rest assured, today Dalila intends to soak in all the love Mae showers upon her. "When I hug and kiss her I tell her, 'I love you, mommy.' She says, 'I love you too, so much!' Often she thanks me for everything I do, and hopes God will give me many blessings. The best part is when she rubs my back like she used to, and plays with my hair."

Mae's favorite phrase continues to be "God bless you." While Dalila has lost much of who Mae was, she gladly accepts all Mae still is. Someone recently suggested, "love her as she loved you." Dalila responded, "I have never loved her more. I have many blessings. I especially want others to know that God has blessed me in giving me the strength and patience to be there for her and advocate on her behalf."

Mercy and grace would top that godsend list. We hold these sweet reminders close to our heart as we learn these lessons. They are the gifts we and future generations will carry and cherish for the rest of time.