Beautiful Christmas displays lighten my heart as I consider those less fortunate than I. There is just something magical in the shining splendor secured to lamp posts, fence rails, rooflines and of course, trees. The child in me wants to declare, “THIS IS CHRISTMAS TO ME! IT IS FINALLY IN MY HEART!”

Trust me; it wasn’t always.

Like many, I have lived through abuse. It really doesn’t matter what kind of abuse; every kind of assault to our soul leaves lasting remnants. They are imbedded in our soul like shrapnel. We can form scars to cover them, even hide them beneath the sheets of a bed of beauty. But like a grave blanket, they serve as an unlikely metaphor for what really lies beneath. We silently grieve because our reality is that we are spineless, and our past has rendered us unable to advocate for ourselves. We have no bones.

Somehow we stand, then walk through the days of our lives, numb yet wistful, as we wish away both our abuse and our abusers. We conjure up stories of what Christmas could have and should have been. But for us, there is only regret, remorse and guilt sewn into the tree skirt that hides the stand that supports the sturdy trunk and branches. But we are brittle, and thirst for strength to center and support our weak and tired souls.

And so, I feel the need to impart reality here. I have replaced that regretted reality. Nowadays there is twinkling tinsel trimming my tree. Beneath the scented pine branches lie the greatest gifts my heart could ever have dreamed of. Gratitude has replaced my guilt from neither preventing nor ending my abuse. My desire for vengeance no longer obscures my view. Apart from apathy, I no longer spend more than a moment revisiting my abuser, who resided rent-free in my head for decades. I evicted her to make room for new memories that are sweeter than the confectionery candy canes I gobble with gusto! I breathe in life, and I exhale hope to anyone who is within reach.

Through my book, Room in the Heart, my two Facebook pages Facebook.com/iamdanaandrews and https://m.facebook.com/MENAREABUSED2/ and this blog, I reach out to share how healing has awakened what my abuse hushed. I now own my personhood. I have learned to advocate for myself, and I have worth! I MATTER!

I have now become so many things! I have grown stronger, and I have bones that serve to support my yearning to become a beacon of hope. I want to be the lights that illuminate your tree and your soul. I want to place the gifts of resilience, self-forgiveness, and effervescent spirit below the branches of the Christmas tree YOU CHOOSE. Mostly though, I want for YOU to be the star that tops your tree. You are the greatest gift I could write as the top entry on my wishlist. You are my chance to undo my past abuse, and see the future unfold~YOUR future unfold!

You see, your future has the potential to top your wishlist too. Like the advent calendar, your healing can be the precious promises that peer from behind those doors that count down the days to happiness in your heart. These are my wishes for you. You are so deserving of these dreams to become a reality.

This holiday season, may every ornament and adornment be the lighthouse that leads you to a place of safety, peace, joy, and belonging. I suggest you consider keeping that tree up for as long as you can. You are the best present I could ever have wished to receive. It is my honor to offer you as a gift to the many whose lives you can now change. You are the song that will seep into souls that seek the sustenance of this and every season. Be the snowflakes that will bring a White Christmas to all, no matter where they reside.

But YOU, you reside in my heart.