You might be familiar with my Facebook page, Dana Andrews (https://www.facebook.com/iamdanaandrews/). It is a safe haven where we find courage, compassion, hope, empathy, and healing. It is a place where almost 1,700 survivors help one another learn to deal with the heinous nightmare we endured at the hands of our abusers. It's an environment of comfort where we learn to find the beauty within our own souls. There is no better place to be; when you are already at the bottom, the only place left to go is upward!

One of the many perks of liking this Facebook page (in addition to getting to know other survivors) is that it is free! You have nothing to lose, yet so much to gain! So how did this all begin?

Many have asked, "WHO was Dana Andrews?"

In short, she was the sweet, little girl with huge brown eyes, a kind heart, and an innocent soul. She craved the love and acceptance her mentally ill mother and weak father chose not to give her. Her mother later joined by her older sister, emotionally abused her mercilessly while her father watched and sometimes participated. Eventually, this sweet child's soul was crushed and she decided she needed to end her life... 3 times...

She was made to believe she was stupid, worthless and bad. She was told she was a mistake and was to be aborted, but her parents decided to take a chance and keep the pregnancy, lest she might be the boy they desperately hoped for. Sadly, SHE wasn't a HE...

What was she? She was a child of God. She was an obedient, tender-hearted child who was born to be loved. Cherished. Wanted. She was created with a pure and sweet soul filled with love. Just like you.

She is ME. I am Dana, but really, you and I walk the same journey. We were abused and we are survivors left with the untidy, monumental task of trying to heal all the pieces of ourselves. We were given different names, and we may not resemble one another, but we are kindred, wounded, aching souls.

We are all unique beings, different, and amazing. We are capable of great things when we are not spending every waking moment trying to fit together the many puzzle pieces of our fractured souls! We know that we were born whole, and soon will be, once again. It just takes time. And tears. Many tears...followed by years and years of sweet, indescribable contentment and happiness! I can attest to that!

Well within the brilliant wreckage that is us, lives a spark that has the power to rekindle hope, love and a basic belonging! We are a candle that burns brightly, bringing light to darkness. We are the flame that provides warmth in winter. We are a force, an energy that can make a difference for so many ...if we aren't constantly snuffed out and deprived of oxygen.We were created for a reason, and that reason is NOT extinguished , disarmed or disabled by abuse! In fact, it can be strengthened! It can grow from a spark to a raging bonfire...and this is where Dana Andrews comes into the picture.

You see, somehow within me was a force greater, MUCH GREATER than the abuse that threatened to destroy my purpose. After the 3rd unsuccessful suicide attempt, the resulting chronic depression and PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) at times left me lifeless and empty. Meanwhile, throughout it all, the spark REFUSED to die down. Even when I lost my way down a darkened path, my soul never lost its beacon light. For this, and so much more, I am thankful! Had I not survived, I would not be here as your cheerleader! (Please know I have dignity and DO NOT choose to embarrass myself by attempting to do cartwheels!)

So... Who IS Dana Andrews now? I am the wife of the sweetest, kindest man you've ever met, and the mother of 5 amazing children. I'm the woman who learned that we truly live for an audience of one. I'm the one who realized that her abusive mother and sister taught me everything not to be. Through my healing, I found that reaching out to help others heal is what survival is all about! I'm the one who wrote a book about learning to heal and love yourself. Most importantly, it was while begging God to help me through my most excruciatingly painful emotional turmoil, I promised Him that in return, I would one day do everything in my power to ensure that NO ONE EVER CRIES ALONE AGAIN!

I take my pact with God seriously! I will do anything in my power to be an ambassador for those still in the claws of abuse. I will advocate for those who have been silenced- and stand alongside them to SCREAM on their behalf. I might not have the power to end abuse, but I will surely not allow it to swallow up its victims!

I continue to find new ways to heal. As far as I am concerned, once we remove ourselves from our abuser and begin to claim ourselves, we begin the healing process. Certainly, we will always have scars that render us vulnerable at times, but we learn to protect ourselves by making wise decisions on our own behalf. I still trip and occasionally tumble, but I quickly regain my footing and walk away from that which does not serve my best interest. We learn... With every door we close, we learn NOT to re-enter. Similarly, those who abused us will not ever be welcomed into our homes or hearts to injure us once again.

So here we are, you and me. I survived, and am here to show you that there is hope for your survival! Once you take the first step in realizing that your abuse was/is NOT OKAY, you are on your way to a better life. A life filled with both little and big things that fill your soul to overflowing- with all the goodness you have deserved for far too long.

Most importantly, we cannot allow ourselves to feel alone in our journey to becoming all we were born to be. We are all in the same boat, the toughing-out high tide so we can soon savor magnificent sunsets. I believe in you. We belong to a club we never aspired to belong to. But here we are. We are worth fighting for. I reclaimed myself! I am worthy. I am deserving of happiness. And as you reclaim your freedom, together we will battle in solidarity. I was once where you are now. I remember going through all that you face now.

Who is Dana Andrews? I... am you.