In a recent blog, I wrote about my friend Amy, who recently became a quadruple amputee. In one of our conversations, she mused just how much she misses her hands. She would do anything to once again touch her children's faces, braid her daughter's hair and hold her husband's hand. Still, she holds hope.

This got me thinking...

Literally, in so many ways, our hands serve us well. We use them to feed ourselves the sustenance necessary for survival. Our hands sow the fields and reap the harvest. Working in conjunction with our basic instincts, we use our hands to hold onto things to steady ourselves, while pushing away from what may harm us. We use our hands to signal a kind gesture, while conversely, we can employ them to cause injuries.

Figuratively, hands are a feature that separates us from most creatures. Subconsciously, we associate our hands with our self-identity; people who lose hands, or the function thereof suffer a greater loss than just function. Do you ever stop to think of all the things that would be impossible without use of your hands?

I do.

You see, after years and years of suffering abuse at the hands of my mother (with the occasional assistance of my father) I can tell you what I use my hands for~ daily, I need BOTH of my hands to COUNT ALL OF MY BLESSINGS!

Without much further ado, here are my two hands-full of blessings...

Blessing #1:

As I touch upon in my memoir Room in the Heart; Surviving a Childhood Undone, Fulfilling a Pact to Love, at one point in my overwhelming emotional pain, I prepared to jump off the ledge of our 5th floor balcony. When I called my therapist to say goodbye, and thank her for trying to help me overcome my pain and resulting depression, she declared, "You cannot jump. You are already at the bottom." For her wise words, and her commitment to helping me become the woman, wife, and mother I am, I count her as one of my blessings every single day. Without her, I'd not be writing this.

Blessing#2:

Had I been successful in ending my life, I'd not be here to have raised our 5 children. I can honestly tell you that each of our children is Godly, loving, kind, honest, and MAKING A HUGE DIFFERENCE in this world! I couldn't be more grateful to have had the privilege of being there to watch them become who they are. Interestingly, they were so instrumental in my eventual healing!

Blessing #3:

My parents were, in an unintentional and unexpected sense, a huge blessing. Yes, they abused me, but in doing so, they taught and showed me everything NOT to be! What a blessing it can be to only know what you should not ever do or be; this has helped me to see all the things I can accomplish and become! This blessing is HUGE; I might need to use my toes in addition to my fingers in counting these blessings, alone!

Blessing #4:

My husband has loved me more than I will ever understand; in doing so, he has shown me how to give and receive love. This sweet, amazing man has a heart bigger than the state of Texas, and he is my reason for loving the life we have with our beautiful family. Through his nurturing and gentleness of heart, he patiently guided and encouraged me to see my worth. He knew that beneath my emotional scars and fear, I had the capability to love him and our children with a full heart.

Blessing #5:

My career as a Forensic Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner is a blessing, but at times, also a curse. I often see women who are abused. I get it. I personally understand the emotional component connected with abuse. This propels me to respect the importance of restoring my patients' autonomy as soon as possible. It also reminds me of that heinously helpless feeling of having my soul crushed, which led to believing myself unworthy and hated. I want my patients to know that they truly do matter, and no type of abuse should be tolerated! My position allows me to make a difference, while my abuse allows me to intuitively understand the life-long effects of abuse.

Blessing #6:

My tenacity and talents have been key in my survival. Since I can remember, I have always dealt with my abuse by playing guitar and songwriting, oil painting, sewing, knitting, spinning wool, baking bread and cooking. (None of these would be even remotely possible without the blessing of my hands!)

Blessing #7

My writing our holiday letters inadvertently led me to write my soon-to-be-published memoir. We moved cross-country twice (plus another smaller move) while my husband was in medical training. In an effort to keep in touch with friends we made in each town where we lived, I wrote yearly holiday letters which detailed the often hilarious antics of our lively growing family. These always resulted in the recipients of these letters encouraging me to write a book. Finally, after 16 years of writing these letters, I decided to heed their advice!

Blessing #8:

Gratitude brings an overwhelmingly open view of all we have. When it rains, I thank my husband for our roof. When I awaken each morning, I am overly thankful for another day...to make a difference- for anyone I can. This includes YOU, who read these blog entries! We do not lose the chance to make a difference for others until we cease to be. When that moment comes, whose hand will you want to hold as you breathe your last?

Blessing #9:

Some people feel they have everything, while others feel they have nothing. Here's the deal; we have nothing without our health, yet with good health, we have every opportunity to try to make a difference for others. When I stop to think about our many, many bodily functions that go on 24/7, independent of our own doing--- I am unequivocally grateful for my family's and my good health. I am also grateful for your good health if you are so fortunate. Nevertheless, you are here, reading this. To me that means that even in some small way, you can better our world. Even giving an unprovoked, kind smile can accomplish that!

Blessing #10:

This would definitely be YOU! While regretfully I cannot undo my abuse or yours, I CAN give you encouragement to heal. It is my fervent belief that when we hurt the most, reaching out to help others facilitates our own healing and eases our own pain. This is why I always say that when you share this blog and my Facebook page (Dana Andrews) with others, it helps us all; sharing brings caring! The more, the merrier, when it comes to healing and helping others heal. Love intentionally.

More than anything, thanks to you, we are well over 1,100 strong! My promise to you is that for as long as you will read my posts, I will write them! All you need to do is fill in your email address (or that of your relatives or friends email addresses) below this blog. Your address will never be shared and you will not receive anything other than new blog entries and my book information.

I end this blog entry with my blessing for you. I hope that if not already, soon your healing will begin. I wish you the blessing of realizing that you DO have worth, you DO matter, and you DO have a chance to make a huge difference for others because you understand their pain. Most importantly, you ARE loved!

Thankfully, you are still here. You are a survivor. You... are a BLESSING!